15 things about me

I love being tagged! It saves me having to come up with an idea for a blog! So I was delighted to be tagged by both Jeanie and Lora to do this post! But once again - I'm showing how completely dull I am! You have been warned......



1.Things that scare me
- Not being able to find one of the children
-Something happening to me while the children are still small
-Rollercoasters - even the little kiddie ones make me really nervous!




2.People who make me laugh
- Mr Taz - every single day!
- Michael McIntyre -LOVE him!
- My brother - I can appreciate him now, but he drove me nuts as a child!! He once convinced me I had a talking bed by hiding underneath it and having a chat with me!



3.Things I hate the most
- Rudeness - there's just no need.
- Discrimination
- Pineapple





4.Things I don't understand
- Racism
- Negative people
- Quantum Physics


5.Things I am doing right now
- watching Belle blow bubbles :)
- listening to "Tom and Jerry - The Nutcracker" playing for the umpteenth time on the television,
- having a cup of tea




6.Things I want to do before I die
- grow very, very, very, old!!!!
- go whale watching
- learn to play the piano




7.Things I can do
- bake
- cross stitch
- touch my nose with my tongue! But I only demonstrate this after a few drinks - it's not an attractive look!


8.Ways to describe my personality
- positive
- fair
- shy


9.Things I can't do
- play the piano
- speak a foreign language
- sing - doesn't stop me belting out a few tunes in the privacy of my kitchen though!!!


10.Things I think that you should listen to
- good music
- your children
- your inner voice



11.Things you should never listen to
- people who start a sentence with "I'm not racist but..."
- rap music - I'm going to sound like my father here, but that's just noise!
- Barney - yes, the purple dinosaur! he's banned in our house.




12.Things I'd like to learn
- the piano
- Thai
- how to not worry about things that are outside my control

13.Favorite foods
- cake
- cake
- cake

14.Beverages I drink regularly
-tea
- hot chocolate
- coke




15.Shows I watched as a kid
- Famous Five
- Wombles
- Hong Kong Phooey


So there you have it! I'm not going to tag anyone - but if you want to take up the challenge, feel free!

Tazzy gets cross!

I haven't blogged for a long time. Mainly because life seems to have gotten in the way, and we've been busy with Easter holidays, house renovations and the general chaos that is my life, but also because nothing has moved me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard as the case may be!). Until this.

The story of a Russian boy who was adopted by an American woman and then returned alone to Russia because his new mother basically changed her mind. My blood is boiling about this!! If I could get this woman alone, I don't think I could hold myself back. How dare she??? What was going on in her mind that made this course of action even remotely ok?

First of all, Artyom is 7. Not 7 months, or 7 weeks, but 7 years old. He has been removed form the care of his biological (allegedly alcoholic) mother, and placed in an orphanage. Two years later he is adopted by this woman, flown halfway across the world to live with strangers, in a country where everyone and everything is unfamiliar to him. Did it not occur to Ms Hansen before she adopted him that a child of this age may have a few "issues", that bonding and attachment would not happen over night, or even that he might be scared and overwhelmed?

Allegedly, Artyom displayed some worrying behaviours. If that is the case, surely sending him back to Russia ALONE, is a little extreme. One wonders what this woman would do if he had been her biological child? There is no return window in the parenthood shop! You get what you're given and you love your child unconditionally. If you run into problems along the way, you do your best to fix things, and use all the resources you can to help your child grow into a happy, stable, loving person. End of!

Adoptive families spend lots of time and energy reassuring our children that we are their "forever family", that we love them unconditionally and that we will never abandon them. So when a story like this breaks, we are concerned that our children will worry about it or that someone in the playground will tell them that their mummy can send them back anytime she wants. Ms Hansen has not just damaged Artyom, she has also caused heartbreak for hundreds of other families waiting to adopt children form Russia (all adoptions to America have been suspended), hundreds of children now have to wait longer in orphanages, while their forever families sit in empty bedrooms, and thousands of adopted children are questioning their place in their family. Shame on her.

My Happy 10

The wonderful Jen, over at The King and I, has tagged me for a Happy 101 award! The deal is that I have to write about 10 things that make me happy every day. Never one to walk away from a challenge (unless it involves physical exertion) I am happy to oblige!


1. The obvious - my gorgeous, happy, healthy children. There were many years when I thought I'd never be able to have 1 child, let alone 2, with baby #3 (or Smallie as we refer to him) in the pipeline. Every day I look at them and count my blessings.

2. My lovely Mr Taz. He is a wonderful husband and father and he makes me laugh so hard that I'm glad my pelvic floor never went through the rigours of pregnancy and child-birth!! Through all the ups and downs of adoption, autism and parenthood, he's always supported me 100%.

3 My parents. I had the happiest childhood you could possibly imagine, and today my parents are healthy and as madly in love with each other as ever. They have set the bar really high for me and it's my ultimate goal for my children to have as many happy memories of their childhood as I do of mine.

4 Cake! I love cake! having recently gone back to Weight Watchers, I can't enjoy it as often as I'd like to. But a nice cake makes me very, very happy!! And a chocolate cake makes me positively ecstatic!!!

5 My facebook family. You guys and gals have been my comfort and support for a year now, and you are the nicest bunch of people I know. I'm a blow-in to the town where I live and making friends has never come easily to me, but now I have you all to chat with and a certain select few to have coffee with. You're all a little bit crazy too, you do know that don't you?

6 This is stretching the "every day" aspect of the challenge. But i do get very happy when my house is tidy!!!

7 That moment where the children are in bed, and you sit down in front of the telly to watch a programme other than Dora or Peppa Pig! Bliss!

8 I have a photo in the kitchen of Button and Belle laughing. It's impossible not to smile when you look at it, so I have palced it on the window ledge beside the sink. If I'm having a "moment" I look at it and all's right with the world again. I'll post it on Facebook later and see if you agree!!

9 Watching my children head off happily to school. Button hops on his bus every morning and Belle skips in to playschool as happy as larry. After the horrendous first year we had with Button in school, knowing my children are in the right educational placement for them, makes me happier than you could ever imagine. And it's not something I take for granted, believe me!

10. My bed. This includes my electric blanket and my new goose father and down duvet! Aaaaahh!!!!


Not a very exciting list, but these truly are the things that make me happy! Can I have my award now, Jen?

Vote Early, vote often!

Abacus Drogheda Needs Your Vote: in the AIB Better Ireland

Abacus Parents Assocation is working everyday to maintain the additional services which are essential to the most effective intervention for our kids.

Abacus Drogheda is in the final 3 for the AIB Better Ireland grant scheme.

The group who comes 3rd gets €2,000,

2nd Place will get €3,000

But If we win we get €5,000 !!!


You can help simply by Texting:

DROGHED-B to 51303 as many times as you can. And by telling everyone you know to do it too.
Texts are charged at the standard text rate
or
Go to: http://www.betterireland.ie/vote.html

And then select: Louth in the County List and Drogheda in the Branch List,... See more

Then select B for Abaile

You can vote once per day per email address. So if you have several email addresses please place a vote for each one. And it costs you nothing. Nada. Zero.

99

Right so, I'm jumping on the bandwagon! Here's my "99".... I've "bolded" the ones I have done.




Started your own blog (erm... helloooo?)

Slept under the stars

Played in a band

Visited Hawaii

Watched a meteor shower

Given more than you can afford to charity

Been to Disneyland (4th trip to Paris coming up, and twice to Florida! I get stressed if i don't get a regular Disney fix)

Climbed a mountain well, a small hillock in Connemara - but it felt like a mountain at the time!

Held a praying mantis

Sang a solo

Bungee jumped

Visited Paris see comment re Disney - never seen the Eiffel tower, though!

Watched a lightening storm loads - the most impressive one was from the 2o - something floor of our hotel in Thailand. Floor to ceiling windows, very impressive!

Taught yourself an art from scratch


It's a bit matronly, but I cross-stitch

Did this one while waiting for Button to come home








Adopted a child 2, and another in the pipeline!

Had food poisoning

Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

Grown your own vegetables a few straggly scallions, and some quite impressive carrots!

Seen the Mona Lisa in France

Slept on an overnight train

Had a pillow fight

Hitch hiked

Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

Built a snow fort

Held a lamb

Gone skinny dipping

Run a Marathon

Ridden in a gondola in Venice

Seen a total eclipse

Watched a sunrise or sunset

Sunrise on the morning we brought Button home











Hit a home run

Been on a cruise

Seen Niagara Falls in person

Visited the birthplace of your ancestors umm....Galway?

Seen an Amish community

Taught yourself a new language i tried to teach myself Thai - and learnt how to say "where is the toilet?" surely, that's all you need?

Had enough money to be truly satisfied

Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

Gone rock climbing

Seen Michelangelo’s David

Sung karaoke

Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

Visited Africa Egypt - wow!!!

Walked on a beach by moonlight

Been transported by ambulance

Had your portrait painted does a caricature done in Disney World count?

Gone deep sea fishing

Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

Kissed in the rain I think I mentioned Galway...... If i didn't kiss in the rain I'd never have been kissed!

Played in the mud








Gone to a drive-in theater

Been in a movie

Visited the Great Wall of China

Started a business

Taken a martial arts class

Visited Russia

Served at a soup kitchen

Sold Girl Scout Cookies

Gone whale watching

Got flowers for no reason

Donated blood, platelets or plasma

Gone sky diving

Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

Bounced a check

Flown in a helicopter

Saved a favorite childhood toy



Dylan










Visited the Lincoln Memorial

Eaten Caviar

Pieced a quilt

Stood in Times Square

Toured the Everglades

Been fired from a job

Seen the Changing of the Guards in London before my parents moved us back to Ireland we did all the touristy things in London so that my bro and I would have some great memories. needless to say, we don't remember a thing!

Broken a bone

Been a passenger on a motorcycle

Seen the Grand Canyon in person

Published a book

Visited the Vatican

Bought a brand new car

Walked in Jerusalem

Had your picture in the newspaper

Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve

Visited the White House

Killed and prepared an animal for eating

Had chickenpox my mum got out of doing jury service because of my pox - she's still thanking me!!!

Saved someone’s life Technically, if we hadn't adopted Button.....

Sat on a jury

Met someone famous Said hello to Gok Wan in London in November!

Joined a book club

Got a tattoo

Had a baby

Seen the Alamo in person

Swam in the Great Salt Lake

Been involved in a law suit

Owned a cell phone

Been stung by a bee

but...sometimes Autism Rocks!!!!

I want to apologise for my last blog. I know it was all true and written from the heart, but it was a bit depressing. I'm a really optimistic person, to a fault sometimes. My brother once told me that if he lost a leg, I'd say "Ah well, at least you've still got the other one!". It's not that I'm unsympathetic, I just can't help myself! Things can always be worse!

So I've decided to rectify the situation. Because, yes, sometimes autism sucks, but often it ROCKS!
I've been thinking a lot of the positive things that autism brings to our lives, and here's what I've come up with:

Button will never be embarrassed or think it's not cool to give me kisses and hugs. He could not care less about what others think of him, so shows no reluctance to throw his arms around me and kiss me as only he can! Usually by pressing his forehead into my face!

I will never have to worry about him keeping up with the latest trends. No peer pressure for my little man!

He doesn't want the latest game console or gadget (though he does love his/my iTouch). He is completely happy with his baby toys. If it makes a noise or flashes a light, Button is entranced. I stopped buying him the things I thought he should like years ago. This year Santa brought him squirty bath toys! Big success!

Every small achievement is significant and cause for celebration. We rejoice in him and never put too much pressure on him. His happiness is our ultimate goal.

He sees the good in everybody. He is not cynical or jaded or critical of others. To Button the world is full of good people.

He still thinks that Mr Taz and I are absolutely hilarious! We don't get the rolling of the eyes and the "Oh Muuuuuuuum!" that so many of my friends with children of the same age experience.

He has made me a better person. 'Nuff said on that really! No need to explain, you all know what I mean.

So you see, even though we have our down days and times when life seems unbelievably unfair, we also have so much to be grateful for. Time to count our blessings, I think! Oh, I can't believe I nearly forgot the most important one.....we get to skip the queues in Disneyland!!!!

Sometimes Autism sucks!

Recently we decided that Button would not be making his First Communion this year (or any other year, in all probability). It wasn't exactly a tough decision, but it did open up a bit of a Pandora's Box of emotions that I had thought had been firmly laid to rest.

As I have mentioned before, I am not particularly religious. I believe in a higher power, but I'm not a huge fan of organised religion. I think if you're a good person and treat others with respect and dignity, well, that should be enough for anyone's God. But Communion is more than a religious event. it's what 8 year old boys like Button should be doing! A rite of passage, that was part of my vision for the future for him in the days, months and years before he came home. I have very happy memories of my communion day, and quite simply I wanted the same for him.

In the run up to a child's First Communion, there are 5 or 6 special masses arranged where the children all sit together and do the readings and prayers of the faithful. Two weeks ago we went off to mass, fully prepared with his favourite small toys, sweets and the promise of the iTouch for being quiet. It was a disaster. He was poking the lady beside us, shouting and trying to escape from his seat. After about 10 minutes (that felt like 10 hours) we decided enough was enough and made a hasty retreat to the car, with Button kicking and hitting various members of the congregation as he made his way up the aisle.

As I sat in the car waiting for Mr Taz and Belle, I just knew that Button was not ready for this. He simply cannot cope with crowds, and having to sit still for any length of time. And suddenly I was sobbing, as it hit me just how much his autism affects him and us as a family.

We go through our daily life thinking that Button is doing great (which he is), basking in the lovely comments that have been coming home in his Book recently and loving his funny, quirky nature. We live in a little autism bubble. This is our world and we know no different. As Belle grows up, we're getting glimpses of the "other world", but for the main part we potter along thinking everything is going to plan.

Then Wham! one day something hits you, and you realise that you're not as ahead of the game as you think you are. The difference between Button and his peers is remarkable. I watched those little boys and girls sitting quietly with just the odd giggle and murmur of chat. Their hands piously joined in complete innocence and joy, fully aware of the importance of the day they were preparing for, and my heart broke.

I'm generally a very optimistic, positive person. but that day I grieved for all the things Button will never enjoy. Birthday parties, trips to museums, pantomimes, playing football on the street with his mates, these things that you dream about and imagine your little boy doing. They are not part of his life, and in all probability never will be. It sucks.

He is the happiest, most innocent little soul I have ever known. He doesn't care one bit about those things. And 99% of the time, neither do I. I am not at all bothered about the actual communion, it's just a very stark reminder that life with Button is always going to be different from how we had pictured it to be.